When I ask WHY, YOU answer.

Alot of yall know that I think way too much. I always try to figure out other peoples intentions, why certain things happen, and I always have a lot of "What If?" moments. Well with all this pain that I have been in the past few days I keep asking God WHY is he letting me go through something so painful and away from home. I came up with alot of reasons...

#1: It has shown me how much my family truly cares about me and loves me. The second my mama knew I didnt feel good, she already began packing up her bags just waiting for me to say come up here. My parents, brother, grandparents, aunts and uncles have all been checking on me. My mom came up here and just let me cry to her and painted my toe nails for me. She cooked for me, cleaned for me, and even watched a ton of movies (even when she was bored out of her mind) just to be with me. My Grammy has sent me several emails just to make me laugh. My brother tries to make a joke out of what all is going on with me. My mom has made her status about me on facebook just to get other people to pray that this pain will go away. I never take my family for granted, but it is easy to forget what all they do for me.

#2:I have a boyfriend who really cares about me. The whole time I was in the ER on Saturday he was texting my BFF Carrie wanting to know how I was doing and if he should come up here. When my mama left on Monday, he wanted to come up here to try and take care of me and give me the princess treatment...I didnt let him, because I knew he wasnt feeling good and didnt want him to miss out on work. But his dad was going to let him leave just because he was concerned about me. Anthony has sent me sweet texts all week and sweet prayers that have just made me realize that I am blessed to have such a caring boyfriend.

#3: It has shown me the importance of having good Christian girlfriends. I have never been one to have a group of girlfriends. My group of friends have always consisted of guys. Up until lately, I have felt like I didnt have any friends, other than my family and Anthony. I am SO blessed to have such a close relationship with the other interns. Carrie took me to the ER Saturday morning around 4am, without even hesitating. All of the girls keep asking me what I need, what can they do for me, do I need them to help me with my dog. They have been such a blessing. I went back to the ER today because I have been in such bad pain, and they all came to visit me. Afterwards, Carrie took my keys and would not let me drive. She drove me to Walmart to get my medicine and then took me home.

She also made me ride in the buggy because she did not want me to walk and cause even more pain. If I were in Albany, I would not have had this group of girlfriends to check up on me.

#4: Even though I am in bad pain, I know that it will only last just a little while longer. The kids I have worked with in the hospital have Cystic Fibrosis, Sickle Cell, Cancer, and several other diseases which cause them to be in pain 24/7. I am blessed that my pain is only going to last a week. It also makes those patients even more special to me, because I know that I would not be anywhere NEAR as strong as most of them!!

#5:A dog truly is a mans (GIRLS) best friend. My dog knows when I do not feel good. She will not let me out of her sight. She is constantly licking me or curled up in a ball right next to me. Its crazy how a little animal can bring so much comfort when you are away from home!!

#6:My heart is at the hospital. I have been saying I wish I could have just a little break to catch up on some sleep and homework, but now that I am on this break, I catch myself thinking about different patients at the hospital and wishing I could be there with them.

#7: I could not be at a better place to be doing my internship. One of the actual Child Life Specialist came and sat with me in my room at the hospital today just talking to me and trying to distract me from all the pain and nausea. Another one sent me a letter down from her office just to let me know she was thinking about me. And my supervisor for the next 8 weeks came to see me just to tell me to take it easy and do not rush back to the hospital. I had been so stressed about missing so much work, but all of the Child Life Specialist have been so sweet and so understanding to me!

#8: I have realized that I get sick or something happens EVERY October.. My Sophomore year I had mono and had to miss school, My Junior year I fractured my skull, My senior year my great grandmother and Aunt Lynda passed away. So now I know DO NOT EVER PLAN ANYTHING BIG IN OCTOBER!!!!

#9: Maybe I needed another "come to Jesus meeting" I have caught myself praying so much more these past few days then what I normally do. But its the kind of prayer where I feel like I get answers back right away. The kind of prayer where I can go to the Lord in the middle of the night just scared to death and feeling so sick that only HE can calm me down. The Lord has taught me so much just in these past few days, and maybe that was the reasoning behind all of this!

#10: When you think things are rough for you, someone is going through something worse. When I think about the pain that I am facing, I cant even imagine the pain that Jesus went through for all of us.

To the ER I go!

My day started yesterday morning at about 1:00am. I woke up because I felt like something fell and hit my back while I was sleeping. After that, I had the worse pain ever imaginable on the right side of my lower back, side, and a little in the front. I think I finally gave in and texted my mom around 3ish saying that I was in major pain and did not know what to do. I tried taking a bath to ease the pain. I couldnt lay in bed, I couldnt walk, I could not do anything that did not hurt. I was trying to wait until 8am to go to MCG Family Medicine, but at about 4am, my mom told me to call my good friend/other intern Carrie to see if she could take me to the Emergency Room. I called Carrie and the first thing she said was "Whats wrong?! Are you okay?" She hopped in her car and was at my place within 3 minutes. On the way to the hospital, she was rubbing my back with one hand and driving with the other. She then asked me if she could pray for me while driving the the ER. As nervous, anxious, and in as much pain I was in, her prayer calmed me down so much! We got to the ER around 4:45am. I was throwing up the entire time, so Carrie did all the talking to check me in and helped me to a room. I know she had to have been grossed out holding my throw up bowl for me! HAHA

After they gave me some morphine, I was kind of loopy. Wasnt I so pretty?!

My sweet friend Carrie! I do not know what I would have done without her. She played the role of keeping me calm, comfortable, and in good spirits. She also had the role of calling and texting my mom and Anthony when we recieved new information. AND she also had the role of playing "Child Life Specialist". I was so nervous, so she did some distraction techniques and guided imagery. It was so funny, but good practice for us! haha

Wheeling me out to go get my CT scan.

After all of this, the doctors finally told me that I have KIDNEY STONES. I was so glad they found what was wrong, I was nervous about going to the ER and them just telling me I was cramping, so I was excited to know that something actually was wrong with me. I have NEVER experience pain like this before. Everyone keeps telling me that birthing a baby will be a breeze now! haha.

This girl is my life saver!! She was supposed to go out of town to go see her fiance, but she said it was more important for her to be here with me. All the other interns wanted to come bring me breakfast and spend time with me. I am so blessed to have such good friends during this time, away from my family.

My mama is now here with me, so it is so nice to have her here. She went to go get all my "loopy" medicine for me and bought me alot of groceries and magazines. She is staying here in Augusta until I pass the stones. I am blessed to have her here, because I have been such a baby and have not wanted to do anything. We have layed in bed the past 2 days watching about 6 Lifetime movies already! I am SO lucky to have her AND my friends here, AND my family and friends praying for me back home!!

Moving on...

This past week was my last week with oncology patients. My rotation is now over and I will be heading to pediatric clinics for the next 8 weeks! I am so sad to leave all the patients that I became close to, but am excited about meeting new ones! :)

Each week we had to provide an art activity for the patients. Since mine are long term patients, I wanted to do a project that the patients would be able to do every time they came in.. I decided on a tree with falling leaves and pumpkins. I also came up with the idea of making butterflies out of masks and I think one girl decided to put a cat in the tree. I loved how this project turned out, and the kids LOVES doing it.

One of my favorite things about these past 8 weeks is my refrigerator. Alot of the patients have made me things. They have made me lots of jewelry and several things I could hang up on my frigde!

Since we all had a long stressful, exciting, heart breaking, emotional, and sleepless past 8 weeks we decided to treat ourselves to seeing a movie on Friday night. We all wanted to go see the movie Courageous! It was so good! I think we spent most of the movie crying and getting all of our tears out that have built up the past 8 weeks. This picture was taken AFTER we did all of our crying during the movie!

I will post another blog soon on everything that I have learned so far!

Perfect weekend. Perfect family. Perfect boyfriend.

Last weekend was the first weekend I have been home in a month.. I did not get as many pictures as I would have liked to have made, but this past weekend was perfect... (almost) The only other thing that could have made it better would have been if my brother came home!

On Friday I got my hair dyed, went shopping with Mama, and then had a movie day/night with the family!

Saturday, I spent the day with Anthony.. the day started off by eating at the mall, then we went back to his house to play some ping pong and get stuff to go shoot some skeet!

I was also able to meet his new cat, Mooch.

Skeet shooting was probably the highlight of the day! We had so much fun, and we were actually both really good!!

After we finished skeet shooting, we went to see the movie 50/50 about the guy battling cancer.. It was such a great movie. I cried, and Anthony teared up.. (He will admit it too!)
I took this picture of a little boy at church on Sunday. I thought it was so sweet. He saw other people raising their hands and singing, so he wanted to do it too!

After church, I went and made my rounds to say goodbye to the family. First stop: Nanny (my great grandmother)

I think she was more excited to see my dog than she was to see me!

Next stop: Mimi and Poppys.

and of course I had to get a picture of their dog, Honey.

The final goodbye: My parents.
After the 4 hour drive home, this is the first thing my dog wanted to do.. get in bed!

All in all, it was a wonderful relaxing fun weekend!! Watching movies, shooting skeet, going shopping, going to the movies, and seeing my family and boyfriend were exactly what I needed after this long stressful month!! I love all of yall so much who made my weekend so special!!

FALL!!!

This is the first full week of fall, so I figured I would post things that I am excited about!!!

I love the color of fall

I am so excited about going to the fair!

Fall fashion. Fall time is my favorite season for fashion! I love the sweaters, leggings, boots, scarves. I cannot wait to start wearing it all!


Caramel apples

apple cider.

Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte
Bath and Body Works fall time candles! I have 4 in my apartment right now, and one is ALWAYS burning! I LOVE the smell of fall!

I have also become addicted to Pinterest.com I have found so many cute things that I want to do during this fall season......

Fill a jar with olive oil and put a picture in it.

Happy Birthday Gdaddy!

Yesterday was a VERY special persons birthday... my G-daddy!! I hate that I was not in town to wish him happy birthday in person.
G-daddy,
I hope you had a wonderful birthday!! I miss you so much. I hope I will be able to see you when I come into town this weekend! I am so blessed to have you as a grandpa!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Special Visitor

This past weekend I had a very special visitor come see me! Even though it was only for a short time, I had so much fun!!

Right after Anthony arrived to Augusta, we went to one of my new favorite places (and cheap) to eat... The Pizza Joint! I guess we picked a bad time to go because it was during the UGA game.. So it was loud and crazy in there...

...and he didnt pay attention to me, he was watching the game!

That night we went to my favorite deli/dessert place to eat... Boll Weevil.

The best part about our meal was our cinnamon cheesecake!!!

After we ate, we went down to the River Walk so I could show him how pretty it was!
Ive been wanting to try out a church here, but I havent had anyone to go to it with me... So Anthony offered to go! It was called True North and it was inside a highschool auditorium. I can honestly say it was one of the best churches that I have ever gone to!

The message was on "How to Deal with Difficult People in the Workplace". It was definitely something that I needed to hear! I was so excited about it, I called my parents right when it was over to read them my sermon notes! haha
The music was awesome...and the preacher even planked in church! I am so glad that I finally found a church to go to!

Downtown...

Tonight, the interns (minus Stephanie) and Laura Merriems fiance went to the Pizza Joint to eat. It was absolutely amazing, not to mention... VERY CHEAP!! The weather was absolutely perfect, and we had such great conversations!

After dinner, we walked down the road to the "Arts in the Heart" festival. Different booths were set up with art and jewelry, several stages for local bands, and food vendors from all over the world. It was alot of fun.... but ended up being freezing outside!
....there was also some creepy belly dancing....