Friends come and go...

One thing I have learned this year, is that friends come and go, but family last forever. In high school, I had so many freinds. It was always "Movie night at Mandys" on Friday nights. In college, things changed for me. Some of my high school friends decided to go down a different path than I did.. and the ones who didnt, moved away. I was lost all throughout my college years. I couldnt seem to find anyone who was "just" like me, until my senior year. I decided to just invest my time in the true friends that I did have. I would much rather have a few true friends, than friends that I could not trust. However, this year... my "true friends" have started to fade away. I dont know why. I try to be the best friend that I can be. I try to call, text, email, meet up when possible, but sometimes I get nothing in return. I have friends that I invest so much time in, tell them my secrets, tell them about every detail that happens in my life, ask them to pray for me, and tell them I am praying for them in return. I am not trying to brag on my friendship skills, but I feel that I am a really good friend to people.

It really hurts to find things out about my "best friends" from facebook, twitter, blogs, and so on.. Am I trying to hard? Am I thinking too much about things? Do my feelings get hurt too easily? I will never know. All I know, is I can not keep worrying about this, and upsetting myself about friendships that are fading away. Maybe I am trying too hard to hold onto memories. Maybe it is time for me to make new friends, and stop living in the past. Maybe I do care too much. I have tried many times to confront friends and tell them I miss how things used to be between us, but nothing changes. Maybe that is a sign. Maybe that is a wake up call. Maybe that is to show me that I deserve better friends. Isn't the quote, "To have a friend, you must be a friend?"

I have learned that my best friends are my family members and my boyfriend. They are the people that are always there for me. They are the ones I cannot wait to come home to see. They are the ones that I know I can trust. They are the ones that I know will call me or text me when something important/funny/sad/random happens. They are the ones that never give up on me, and I will never give up on them. They are the ones who do not judge me. They are the ones who will always love me... unconditionally.

I am finally going to do it, I am going to move on. I deserve to have some wonderful friends in my life. This isnt going to be easy..but I know that it is time.