Alot of yall know that I think way too much. I always try to figure out other peoples intentions, why certain things happen, and I always have a lot of "What If?" moments. Well with all this pain that I have been in the past few days I keep asking God WHY is he letting me go through something so painful and away from home. I came up with alot of reasons...
#1: It has shown me how much my family truly cares about me and loves me. The second my mama knew I didnt feel good, she already began packing up her bags just waiting for me to say come up here. My parents, brother, grandparents, aunts and uncles have all been checking on me. My mom came up here and just let me cry to her and painted my toe nails for me. She cooked for me, cleaned for me, and even watched a ton of movies (even when she was bored out of her mind) just to be with me. My Grammy has sent me several emails just to make me laugh. My brother tries to make a joke out of what all is going on with me. My mom has made her status about me on facebook just to get other people to pray that this pain will go away. I never take my family for granted, but it is easy to forget what all they do for me.
#2:I have a boyfriend who really cares about me. The whole time I was in the ER on Saturday he was texting my BFF Carrie wanting to know how I was doing and if he should come up here. When my mama left on Monday, he wanted to come up here to try and take care of me and give me the princess treatment...I didnt let him, because I knew he wasnt feeling good and didnt want him to miss out on work. But his dad was going to let him leave just because he was concerned about me. Anthony has sent me sweet texts all week and sweet prayers that have just made me realize that I am blessed to have such a caring boyfriend.
#3: It has shown me the importance of having good Christian girlfriends. I have never been one to have a group of girlfriends. My group of friends have always consisted of guys. Up until lately, I have felt like I didnt have any friends, other than my family and Anthony. I am SO blessed to have such a close relationship with the other interns. Carrie took me to the ER Saturday morning around 4am, without even hesitating. All of the girls keep asking me what I need, what can they do for me, do I need them to help me with my dog. They have been such a blessing. I went back to the ER today because I have been in such bad pain, and they all came to visit me. Afterwards, Carrie took my keys and would not let me drive. She drove me to Walmart to get my medicine and then took me home.
She also made me ride in the buggy because she did not want me to walk and cause even more pain. If I were in Albany, I would not have had this group of girlfriends to check up on me.#4: Even though I am in bad pain, I know that it will only last just a little while longer. The kids I have worked with in the hospital have Cystic Fibrosis, Sickle Cell, Cancer, and several other diseases which cause them to be in pain 24/7. I am blessed that my pain is only going to last a week. It also makes those patients even more special to me, because I know that I would not be anywhere NEAR as strong as most of them!!
#5:A dog truly is a mans (GIRLS) best friend. My dog knows when I do not feel good. She will not let me out of her sight. She is constantly licking me or curled up in a ball right next to me. Its crazy how a little animal can bring so much comfort when you are away from home!!
#6:My heart is at the hospital. I have been saying I wish I could have just a little break to catch up on some sleep and homework, but now that I am on this break, I catch myself thinking about different patients at the hospital and wishing I could be there with them.
#7: I could not be at a better place to be doing my internship. One of the actual Child Life Specialist came and sat with me in my room at the hospital today just talking to me and trying to distract me from all the pain and nausea. Another one sent me a letter down from her office just to let me know she was thinking about me. And my supervisor for the next 8 weeks came to see me just to tell me to take it easy and do not rush back to the hospital. I had been so stressed about missing so much work, but all of the Child Life Specialist have been so sweet and so understanding to me!
#8: I have realized that I get sick or something happens EVERY October.. My Sophomore year I had mono and had to miss school, My Junior year I fractured my skull, My senior year my great grandmother and Aunt Lynda passed away. So now I know DO NOT EVER PLAN ANYTHING BIG IN OCTOBER!!!!
#9: Maybe I needed another "come to Jesus meeting" I have caught myself praying so much more these past few days then what I normally do. But its the kind of prayer where I feel like I get answers back right away. The kind of prayer where I can go to the Lord in the middle of the night just scared to death and feeling so sick that only HE can calm me down. The Lord has taught me so much just in these past few days, and maybe that was the reasoning behind all of this!
#10: When you think things are rough for you, someone is going through something worse. When I think about the pain that I am facing, I cant even imagine the pain that Jesus went through for all of us.
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